Sanctuary

The Sanctuary Alliance Every child deserves and needs someone in his or her life to love and to love them back. O. Fred Donaldson, Ph.D. Introduction: Children As Peacemakers “If we are to reach real peace in this world and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with children; and if they grow up in their natural innocence, we won’t have to struggle; we won’t have to pass fruitless, idle resolutions, but we shall go from love to love and peace to peace until at last all the corners of the world are covered with that peace and love for which consciously or unconsciously the whole world is hungering.” Gandhi Children are being robbed of childhood. Throughout the world in large cities, small towns, and rural areas children are deprived of the safety and nurturance they need to thrive. As the Nobel Peace Prize Laureates point out, “Many children--too many children--live in a culture of violence.” Consequently fear energizes them. Hypervigilence, separation, isolation, attack and revenge become children’s strategies for everyday living. Save The Children, for example, estimated that 100 million children died during the decade 1990-2000 because of adult inflicted living conditions.   Self defense, social isolation, aggression, and victimization are health risks for all children, not just coping strategies for those directly impacted by violence. A child who feels victimized, unwanted or isolated experiences a kind of poverty that is  deeper and more painful than the loss of food. Being a child is hard enough without fearing for your life. As Mother Teresa points out, “unless kind hands are given in service and generous hearts are given in love, I do not think there can ever be a cure for the terrible sickness of feeling unloved.” Mother Teresa’s outcry precisely expresses a kind of knowledge. But the knowledge she conveys cannot be proved or explained. It cannot be taught or learned. Such exclamations are not information. One either does or does not know what they mean. The idea of explaining them to someone who does not feel is sad. Our devices of human explanation mask thousands of individual experiences of hurt, humiliation, and death, moments of dread at not knowing how to be safe, who one can trust, and sorrow and emptiness at the loss of the cherished and familiar. The best way to safeguard the future for children is not only to assert their rights, but to defend and protect them now. Commitment to caring is best reflected not in studies, reports, and commissions, but only in the well-being of children. The Sanctuary Alliance is a partnership of people committed to prevent and eliminate violence against children and take the steps necessary to ensure that the benefits of childhood are available to all children, not just a privileged few. The Sanctuary Alliance is created on the premise that we not only want to make a difference, but   that we can. We believe that childhood is an untapped natural resource of great promise and all children are a valuable part of humanity’s common heritage. This Alliance begins a new era in child welfare by creating a unique and universal relationship based on love, safety and belonging. The Sanctuary relationship is in keeping with the 1976 United Nations Convention on the rights of the child, the 1994 International Conference on Population and Development (ICPD) vision for human development, and the appeal to humanity made by Nobel Peace Prize Laureates. It is the belief of The Sanctuary Alliance that positive connections between people reduce fear and violence while creating peace. The Sanctuary Alliance is rooted in a universal vision and a practical plan that promotes action at levels from international to family relations. This vision and practice restructures the social contract between adults and children. The Sanctuary role develops people who learn to think beyond conflict and actively move collaboratively beyond aggression and revenge to peace. It may seem naive to say that children can be peacemakers. But if you recall in the story of   “The Emperor’s New Clothes” the honesty of a child turns the adult world upside down. Such a paradigm shift is not   limited to children’s fairy tales. Adults have assumed, for example, that peace, unlike war, is not an inborn reflex. Well, such a belief leaves us as naked as the Emperor; just as in the tale it takes children to awaken us to the truth. The Sanctuary relationship demonstrates that many of our assumptions about children, conflict, and peace are wrong. What, you might ask, do children and peace have in common? The answer is simple--their original play. Play, in this context, is a relationship with the world, marked by love, safety, and belonging, that is the foundation upon which childhood exists. The original play relationship activates an internal & universal sensory-motor reflex system that is a response to life characterized by 3 traits: loving beyond fear, trusting beyond knowing, and belonging to all life. The Sanctuary relationship breaks new ground in many ways. This Alliance is the first of its kind to utilize childhood as a natural resource and demonstrate that children have something valuable to offer to the world. This “something” is the sanctuary relationship inherent in children’s original play. The Sanctuary relationship is a universal trust fund, an infrastructure of love, safety, and belonging that transcends social, cultural, and even species boundaries, thereby serving as a foundation for interpersonal, cross-cultural, and inter-species trust. In addition, this original play relationship is simple, sustainable, and addresses the underlying causes of aggressive behavior at a level at which these behaviors can be changed.   Also, the sanctuary alliance is a global vision that evolves practical strategies that can be implemented at the local level to demonstrate the importance and feasibility of safeguarding children. Finally, it makes conflict obsolete. Vision Our vision is to sustain childhood by creating a global network of sanctuaries in which children thrive, not merely survive. As used here, “sanctuary” refers to a person not a place. We believe that the most effective safe haven for a child is another human being who we call a “sanctuaryist”.   The people who are part of the Sanctuary Alliance are united in their commitment to a common vision and practice to safeguard the world’s children. The way in which children are treated can no longer be regarded as an internal family matter. We believe that the protection of children is not only the responsibility of parents but the duty of the international community as well.   Core Values The sanctuaryist is dedicated and committed to enhance and extend life based on the following four core values. •For a child to develop optimally someone needs to be a sanctuary for that kid. •No child should spend his or her energy in self-defense. •Children’s original play is peacemaking. •The sanctuary relationship is based on three qualities: loving beyond fear, trusting beyond knowing, and belonging to all life. Mission Our threefold mission is clear and ambitious: to protect children, revive and preserve childhood, and make conflict obsolete. We accomplish our mission by introducing, developing, and implementing  a unique and innovative primary care relationship called “sanctuary”. This is a strategic relationship that functions as a universal life support system, which mobilizes individuals and communities to better serve, protect, and empower their children.   The Project begins with sites chosen from an initial group of eight around the world: in the United States these are: Fairfield, CT; Seattle, WA; and Kona, Hawaii  There are four in Europe: Warsaw, Poland; Graz, Austria; Munich, Germany; Stockholm, Sweden, and one in Africa:Cape Town, Republic of South Africa. Sites will be chosen from this group of eight in which to initiate a year long pilot project. During this year from one to three sanctuaryists will be identified and trained in each of the eight sites. In time the plan is to expand and include other sites around the world. Sanctuaryist Training Children play a primary role in the sanctuary process. Children are both the chief models and mentors for the relationship. The sanctuaryist role is based on a framework for relationship that is founded in the vision and practice of original play. Original play is an action-state of belonging to all life. This action-state is a gift of Creation and thus inherent in all life. The masters of this way of being and doing are children before they are adulterated by culture. But children cannot create the Sanctuary relationship by themselves. Adults are necessary too. Both parties must share in a process of giving and receiving. The adult role is to provide the safe environments within which children can realize their potential; while they receive from the children the skills inherent in original play. We achieve this relationship by training adults to be sanctuaryists and developing sanctuaries for children. In time we hope this process of sharing will make a sanctuaryist into a recognized role cherished by children and respected by adults. Sanctuary training is an ongoing process that takes a “hands-on” approach with children. This play with children can be emotionally difficult and physically challenging, as the issues children face are complex and often life threatening. In addition, the adults who surround children may not understand and often feel threatened by the new role. While the training is specifically designed for those who are interested in direct, “hands-on” work with children, our experience is that the skills derived from the sanctuary experience equip one with the emotional presence and physical abilities to respond to the needs not only of children but to adults as well. The sanctuaryist is an innovator who faces challenging circumstances with grace. Objectives The Sanctuary Training Project has three objectives:   • To train adult mentors to serve as sanctuaryists for children; • To include children as models and catalysts for training adults in the skills of original play; • To motivate and mobilize community support for safe childhoods. Sanctuary training is a “hands-on” mentoring relationship based on the process of original play. This mentoring relationship changes lives in a positive way as it gently guides and nurtures a two-way exchange that provides opportunities for both adult and child to experience giving and receiving without fear, self-defense, or limitation. All relationships can be enriched by the Sanctuary process: parent and child, teacher and student, therapist and client, administrator and staff, employer and employee, coach and athlete, police and public, pet and human, and so on. The following groups of people can benefit from Sanctuary training. • all children; • people who have direct contact with children, such as parents and teachers; • people who plan, supervise, and manage programs that serve at-risk and special needs children; • social service professionals such as law enforcement, welfare, health care, and social work; • students in the above fields; • people who work in high stress environments; • people who work with animals; • people who endeavor to improve their creative and/or physical abilities; • people working in international relations and environmental fields. The Sanctuary Training process has 5 modules; • 3 day introductory workshop, • 3 day intensive workshop, • 3 day mentoring seminar, • 5 day mentoring seminar, • individual apprenticeships.   These modules are progressively more experiential in nature and are designed to enhance one’s emotional and physical ability to respond safely and effectively in the increasingly complex, contradictory, and competitive world we live in. Because the masters of the original play process are children, participants spend increasing amounts of time in play with children as they progress from workshop to mentor to  apprenticeship. Also, in this progression the experiences are increasingly tailored to meet individual needs. The training process is designed so that participants choose at what point they wish to stop the training process.   While the first four modules can be completed in a short time, fourteen days, participants who choose to go on into apprenticeships will recognize that to be a sanctuaryist is a demanding process that demands a long term commitment. It is expected that before a person undertakes an apprenticeship position he or she will be able to: • describe the role and responsibilities of a sanctuaryist, • describe the emotional and physical traits of an effective sanctuaryist, • demonstrate safe and effective touch skills with a variety of children, • describe the process of original play, • demonstrate ability to communicate effectively about original play with adults, • demonstrate ability to assess, manage, and implement an original play process in a variety of environments, • discriminate between good and bad touch, • think and act beyond aggression and revenge. As a universal trust fund the sanctuary relationship transcends the fears generated between groups, countries and species, enabling us to feel a sense of mutual belonging without resorting to self-defense, blame, fault, attack, or revenge. Learning to sustain this relationship takes time and commitment.   Characteristics of an effective sanctuaryist include: • a mindful commitment to his or her ongoing practice of kindness; • an ability to enable others to realize and develop their full potential without resorting to tactics of fear and self-defense; • having the integrity, patience, maturity, responsibility, and empathy to play with life as it unfolds; • creating safe learning environments; • empowering all people to feel safe and to let go of fear as a way of responding to the world; • being able to handle surprise with equanimity, flexibility, balance, and inner stillness; • engaging life with enthusiasm and grace; • a strong sense of leadership and service based on humility and humor, confidence and compassion, wisdom and   joy, patience and perseverance; • being able to model giving love at the point of attack; • loving beyond fear; • trusting beyond knowledge; • creating a sense of belonging; • using safe touch in difficult situations. The Sanctuary Training Project Strategic Plan The Sanctuary Project is a prevention, intervention, and recovery strategy that focuses on three key areas: making children safe, preserving childhood, and reducing conflict. The Sanctuary Project begins with pilot projects chosen from an initial eight sites. These sites are Fairfield CT., Seattle, WA.,  and Kona, HA in the United States; Warsaw, Poland,  Graz, Austria, Munich, Germany, Stockholm, Sweden in Europe and Cape Town, Republic of South Africa. These sites are chosen because there are currently people in these communities who can serve as area coordinators. Each area coordinator will serve as a focal point for arranging workshops, disseminating information, and developing mentoring sites in their region. Each project site consists of a home base, a number of workshop sites in the surrounding region, and from one to four mentoring sites. In time, apprenticeship sites will be added. The challenges raised by the complex problems facing children require a new commitment to work together if we are to realize the benefits of fully realized childhoods. Sustainable childhood can best be advanced when the efforts of those directly involved with children are fully integrated with community strategies. In this regard partnerships among adults will be encouraged and developed to enhance childhood in local communities. Adults working directly with children will be encouraged to develop and implement strategies for sustaining childhood and keeping children safe within their communities. While specifics will be adapted to fit the needs of the local community, the basic plan of action set forth here will be the same in each of the sites. In each of the selected pilot project areas there will be a home base surrounded by one to four mentoring sites. This network will be surrounded by a number of workshop sites spaced throughout the region. Home base is simply the home/office of the area coordinator. The duties of the coordinator include: arranging workshops, selecting mentoring sites, helping apprentices find sites, maintaining lists of workshop participants, handling publicity, establishing mentoring schedules and giving lectures in the area. Workshop sites are places in the region where workshops will be given. Mentoring sites are schools or other child care institutions at which training can take place. Each mentoring site must be a safe place for children and adults to play and the site administration must be willing to have play occur at their site. There is a reciprocal mentoring relationship between the children at each site and the adults who train as mentors. The children provide the adult trainees with play experience and the adults provide models of safety. Apprenticeship sites are places allowing adults who have reached the apprenticeship stage to play with children at their site. By agreement, the site in essence sponsors the apprenticeship. Developing and Implementing A Sanctuary Project Step 1: Develop A Site Specific Strategic plan Objectives • establish site goals and objectives, • develop a strategy for implementing the project at the site, • develop ways to incorporate contributions from children and young people • create job description for area coordinators, including title, salary, and percent of time involved, benefits • identify potential consultants • identify specific services and outcomes we expect to provide • provide an income and budget estimate, • develop a standard monitoring and evaluation plan Step 2: Conduct A Site analysis Objectives • recruit area coordinator, • assess the region for  possible workshop and mentoring sites • identify important community people and how they are to be involved • identify sources of necessary resources and materials, such as mats • Identify and assess target groups of children-including number of children served, how they are to be involved,    level of service provided, risk & protective factors currently present • identify target groups of workshop participants. Step 3: Project Implementation • establish connection with play sites • initiate play with targeted children, • arrange community, parent and staff orientation meetings • decide on and promote dates for workshops in area • monitor progress and change as needed Step 4: Project Evaluation • evaluate project • meet with people involved to provide suggestions for project continuation and future direction. • decide on new sites  General  Project Timeline         Activity Projected Timeline Phase 1   Spring 2005 Phase 2    Fall 2005 Phase 3   Spring   2006 Phase 4   Summer 2007

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